


archivist funtime, anybody?

by takethebreadsticksandRUN



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, daisy is mentioned, he recognizes the hot jon rights movement, i forget which episode, just thought i should put that out there, martin gets jealous, mention of violence, oliver can flirt like there is no tomorrow, oliver is a sexy thot, pretty much crackfic, this takes place after jon reads that HR report from the End to the Eye, tw of mention of bondage kink but literally it's two words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:34:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24877021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takethebreadsticksandRUN/pseuds/takethebreadsticksandRUN
Summary: Oliver Banks is a shameless flirt. Martin is jealous.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 10
Kudos: 110





	archivist funtime, anybody?

**Author's Note:**

> what do i have to say for myself? nothing. absolutely nothing. hope you guys enjoy!  
> xxx

Oliver supposed this was going to happen sometime. In a world ruled by the Ceaseless Watcher, it only made sense the fears would be treated to a surprise visit by the pet Archivist.

“Traveling alone, are we?” he asked Jon, not looking at him as he wove a few black tendrils of fog into a rope.

Jon looked around in surprise as if just noticing _yes in fact I am traveling alone_. He made a small noncommittal noise. “I received your report,” he said stiffly.

“Hm? Oh, that old thing?” Oliver laughed as though he had all the time in the world. “It can get so _boring_ here, some people take forever to die. But where’s the fun in a quick death?”

He winced. “That seems rather insensitive, don’t you think?”

Still not looking at him, he wound the woven rope around his hand thoughtfully. “You know,” he mused, “I don’t think so. Not really.”

“Lovely.”

“What are you doing here, Archivist? Not that I dislike your company,” he spread his hands in a welcoming gesture and winked. “Actually, quite the opposite. But I assume you had a purpose in hunting me down? Or do you just miss me?”

Several black vines broke out of the earth at his feet, creeping towards unseen destinations.

Jon did not even have the decency to look flustered. “I felt this place calling me,” he hummed. “I needed to come here. Why though? Did you want me for something?”

Oliver smirked, walking over to where Jon stood in the clearing of black vines. “Want you in which way, _Archivist_? Don’t get me wrong, both involve rope, but-“ He swept a hand under his chin, tilting it up, considering. “It’s important to make the distinction before we proceed.”

Jon didn’t break eye contact but said nothing.

“A little canary of the Eye’s would be nice,” he said, sing-song.

“Hey, Jon are you-“ A warm voice, so unlike his own rusty tone broke through the deathly silence. “What’s going on?” Martin froze, terrified of the domain he found himself in.

“Mr. Banks here had a request-“ He deliberately removed Oliver’s hand and crossed to stand at his side. “The Eye told me to come to speak to him. But I don’t think further conversation is necessary.”

Martin reached down and intertwined their fingers. “What did he want?” he asked uncertainly.

“It’s unimportant.” Jon glared at Oliver, who shrugged, smiling. “He has made his position _quite_ clear.”

“What can I say? It get’s boring out here, Archivist. And I was under the impression you were-“ He paused, considering.

“Traveling alone?” Jon supplied.

“Single.”

Martin glowered at Oliver, mistrustful and slightly jealous. “Shall we go, then?”

“Oh, you just got here!” he protested. “Surely you can stay awhile.” He made to put an arm around Martin, who flinched.

“If you come one step closer,” Jon said, deadly and low. “You will not be able to walk again.”

Oliver raised an eyebrow suggestively. “Ohoho, sexy Archivist fun time?”

He sighed loudly and turned to his boyfriend. “Can I see your bag?” Wordlessly, he handed it over. Jon reached in and pulled out a small machete.

“Where did you-“ Martin paused, considering. “You know what, I don’t really want to know.”

“Good idea.” He smiled tightly. “Now, Mr. Banks, if you ever touch me or my boyfriend…” He waved it threateningly.

Oliver rolled his eyes but backed away, hands raised in surrender. “Fine, you win, but if you ever change your mind… _you know where to find me_.” They watched as he walked off, smoothly stepping over the black roots.

Martin glared at his retreating back. Jon would be unsurprised to find daggers shooting out of his eyes. He supposed he had a good reason to, an excuse to stab Oliver next time they met.

“Jealous, love?” Jon teased.

He ignored this, blushing. “A machete, huh?” he changed the subject.

He went along with this. “Yes, Daisy hid it in the cabin. She taught me how to swing it…” He laughed softly. “Well, her exact words were more along the lines of _swing as hard as my twig arms allow and stab somebody_.”

Martin nodded sagely. “Makes sense. Oh, and Jon?”

“Yes?” he said, bouncing their arms slightly as they started to walk again.

“Next time, do me a favor and chop his legs off, will you?”

**Author's Note:**

> do i have a thing for oliver banks, avatar of the end?  
> that's a secret i'll never tell


End file.
